A soft personality in Islam is the state of interacting with people through calmness, mercy and emotional steadiness. The Qur’an presents this quality as a sign of divine favor on our Prophet. When addressing the character of the Prophet the verse says that it was by the mercy of Allah that he became gentle with those around him Q 3:159. The verse continues that if he was harsh it would have driven people away and so the gentleness draws hearts closer.

The Prophet himself taught that true strength is not the ability to overpower someone physically but the ability to control the self at the moment of anger.

If a person’s heart qalb is not fearful of Allah his limbs will not be fearful and if a person’s heart sadr is not a lantern of Godly light mishkat al anwar al ilahiyya then his exterior will not be illuminated by the beauty of the prophetic character jamal al adab al nabawiyya.

The Messenger said, Halal is clear and haram is clear and between the two are ambiguous matters that many people do not know their rulings. So whoever avoids the ambiguous matters will safeguard his religion and reputation. And the one who falls into them falls into the haram like the shepherd who grazes around the sanctuary and is about to cross into it. Indeed every king has a sanctuary and the sanctuary of Allah is His prohibitions. And indeed in the body there is a morsel of meat that if it is well the rest of the body will be well and if it is corrupt then the rest of the body will be corrupt. It is the heart.

Reported by al Bukhari fifty two and Muslim one thousand five hundred ninety nine and the wording is Muslim’s.

And it is also reported from the Messenger The heart is the king and the limbs are its soldiers. So if the king is good his soldiers will be good. And if he is evil his soldiers will be evil. Reported by al Bayhaqi in Shuaab al Iman one hundred eight.

So we are aware of this organ’s importance. Heart in Islam is personality or self. It is the place for Taqwa so it is reported Allah does not look at your bodies and images but looks to your hearts and Messenger pointed his fingers to his chest. Reported by Muslim two thousand five hundred sixty four.

Though the heart is the most important part of our body it is also the most volatile and unpredictable. The heart in Arabic is called qalb meaning what keeps turning and changing. This quality points to an intense volatility. The heart continuously moves from one emotion to another from one intent to its opposite so it easily panics and this is the reason that it is hard to change our behaviour.

But in this article those who always strive to change will find that if we change our heart to soft behaviour towards other humans we will indeed find it challenging to do so but we will not regret.

So let me tell you some of the essential behaviours we must adapt to become a better version of ourselves. This article is mostly for guys. I find us guys being more rude arrogant or possessive thanks to multimedia which is portraying such personalities Alpha Males.

I have personally experienced it in my life that whenever I had tried to change something in my favour with force the results were not sustainable. By continuous thoughts on ourselves I have concluded that to change the condition of this Ummah we must change our behaviour towards a soft personality. And for doing so we must know the traits of such behaviour.

1. Emotional Awareness It means that we know how to understand ourselves and our feelings and we can express them in a healthy way. Let me tell you something in my college I had times when people were actually not digestible so in such situations it is normal to lose our emotions and at this point we need a change. When we are emotionally aware it reduces the frequency of our tempered behaviour. This is actually more applicable inside our family circle because outside we tend to have a professional behaviour but at home we do not have that. When your Mum or your Dad is explaining something which you think is not making any sense with your condition you must balance yourself and be more mature.

I feel that when some sort of disturbance happens in such cases like I have adopted a technique that I do not look at their face. I say sorry but I wait for them to complete and then I hold her hand in my hand Mother and I explain to her like that. This I have learned after a lot of wrong ways I did happen to pass by. And so when you do control your emotions that makes a higher image of yourself in your parents life or in your friendship or even in relationship with spouse. Being emotionally aware does not mean suppressing your feelings but recognizing and managing them constructively. Someone might think it is suppressing yourself but it is actually waiting for the right time to speak.

2. Gentleness in Speech It means that you are not too loud or aggressive when you speak. It also involves using right words and soft tone. Many people have a gentle texture with outsiders but for me it should be first for your loved ones. And to do so we choose a moderate soft tone and use words that heal. People feel safe talking to someone who speaks gently. Such person speaks slowly and thinks before he speaks. So even if he or she disagrees he has a higher control over others due to his or her nature.

For example teachers are mostly females just because they speak gently with young kids so they can inculcate in them the desired goals or morals. If you use bad words or slangs it becomes hard for others to appreciate your kindness and it shows how your interaction was with people around you which tells if you are in good company or ruined by others. Language is a precious asset for anyone who wants to shine his portrait in society and the only thing we are supposed to do is speak less and use our minds before we utter something.

3. Empathetic Behaviour It means we are genuinely concerned about someone who is in trouble even without them saying much. It applies to our close friends who share their concerns with us. Whenever we meet someone we should look at their face. If they are not happy we should enquire because they may share something for which if Allah wills we have a solution.

Such a person when he encounters someone sad he senses it and responds with comfort. When someone is stressed he listens fully without interrupting. He tries to understand the situation from the other person’s side and not only his own. This raises our value in their eyes and creates beautiful companionship.

4. Patience in Stress Patience in stress means he stays calm when pressure rises. Instead of reacting quickly or with anger he slows down his breathing and keeps his voice steady. He gives himself a moment to think before responding so he does not escalate the situation. He remains composed even when plans change or problems appear suddenly. People around him feel more stable because his calmness creates a sense of control.

5. Respectful Behaviour This behaviour is often ignored by Muslims. It involves lowering gaze speaking only when required and respecting elders women and girls. We cannot implement this unless we value the opinions of others and respect personal boundaries.

6. Thoughtfulness and Nurturing Behaviour A person who wants to be respectful must speak only when he knows what he is speaking about and how it will impact others. This behaviour involves becoming a support for others from the heart not as a duty. It prevents conflict and raises our degree in others sight.

7. Loyalty in Everything It means sincerity in every action we do towards others so we are genuine and never cheat. It is a sign of a hypocrite to have two faces. We must remain bound to our values and this will keep us on the straight path with loyalty to Allah and to people around us.

8. Introspective Interest It means a person enjoys looking inward and understanding his thoughts feelings and motivations. He reflects on why he reacts in certain ways and how he can grow. He may enjoy journaling reading or spending time alone. He values art creativity and deep thoughts. This habit gives him inner clarity.

I feel that if we apply these few rules then InshaAllah we will see that not only our hereafter improves but even this life becomes like a heaven for us.

T.C, Allah-Hafiz!